Tim and I sat down earlier this week and embarked on the bittersweet task of choosing a name for our precious little girl. We wanted to be able to give her an identity,not just a tragic diagnosis. This has been something we have been talking about and considering for a while. At first I was reluctant to allow myself to grieve for a baby that I will probably never get to meet, especially since I was expecting to lose her much earlier than this stage in the pregnancy. Tim was a little reluctant to name her because he didn't want us to attach a sense of false hope in moving forward with naming, as couples usually do in normal pregnancies. In the end, we have decided to start trying to build her identity as our daughter rather than our medical tragedy. We both feel a greater sense of peace and propriety in doing this.
So, our daughter's name is Emma Grace Decker. Emma means "Embracing All" and Grace means (predictably) "Grace." We literally went through an entire thick book of baby girl names before deciding on this one. We wanted to pick the right name to attach some meaning to our experience with her, and a name that means "embracing all" sort of sums it up. Despite the fact that Emma has some very serious medical problems that will likely take her away from us, we have resolved to embrace her for the time that we have. She is our daughter no matter what the outcome. Though we cannot really see a grander purpose for our grief right now, she still holds a very precious place in our hearts. We named her in order to recognize the love that we feel for her despite the circumstances.
There is no medical news or updates on Emma to share right now. I have been in twice this week to check her heartbeat, and it is still completely normal. I understand that her condition will progressively worsen, and that this process will potentially take a while. It still baffles me how her little heart can continue to beat so strongly and so normally despite the challenges that are created by her edema. She must have a very strong, resilient little heart...one more little fact about her identity that we will carry with us.
On a lighter note- news from the Decker House:
Little Timmy is continuing to grow and learn. He has recovered from his little bug and is back in action. This week he has started drinking from a normal adult cup with no lid. We're still nervous about this, so we only let him practice at the table with a bib, but he does a fairly good job and avoiding spills.
Tim has asked me to share the final results of his "Quest for the Perfect Pancake." So, we have located Krusteaz pancake mix, both plain and blueberry flavored (thanks Mom and Dad Barkley!). A summary of Tim's attempts:
Atempt 1: Plain Krusteaz pancakes- fluffy, but disappointed with the level of browning
Attempt 2: Krusteaz pancakes cooked in butter- much better, but not on par with Stormont Vail
Attempt 3: Ricotta pancakes from scratch- YUCK! no fluffiness
Attempt 4: blueberry Krusteaz, baked by Kim due to Tim's illness- good, but blueberries not fresh enough
Attempt 5: Bisquick pancakes cooked in butter- good, less favor than Krusteaz
So, after the past 5 weeks' worth of attempts, Tim has come to an epiphany: IT'S THE SYRUP! He had me re-appropriate several syrup packs from the dining hall in our latest visit to Stormont Vail. This morning he tried one of the syrup packs and made the determination that the crux of the perfect pancake lies in the syrup, not the batter. So, if you ever run across Heinz pancake syrup in the grocery store, know that you have discovered the Holy Grail of pancakes. And, for the record, the best combination possible is plain Krusteaz pancakes, prepared on the griddle with butter, and topped with Heinz syrup. Quest Complete.
So, our daughter's name is Emma Grace Decker. Emma means "Embracing All" and Grace means (predictably) "Grace." We literally went through an entire thick book of baby girl names before deciding on this one. We wanted to pick the right name to attach some meaning to our experience with her, and a name that means "embracing all" sort of sums it up. Despite the fact that Emma has some very serious medical problems that will likely take her away from us, we have resolved to embrace her for the time that we have. She is our daughter no matter what the outcome. Though we cannot really see a grander purpose for our grief right now, she still holds a very precious place in our hearts. We named her in order to recognize the love that we feel for her despite the circumstances.
There is no medical news or updates on Emma to share right now. I have been in twice this week to check her heartbeat, and it is still completely normal. I understand that her condition will progressively worsen, and that this process will potentially take a while. It still baffles me how her little heart can continue to beat so strongly and so normally despite the challenges that are created by her edema. She must have a very strong, resilient little heart...one more little fact about her identity that we will carry with us.
On a lighter note- news from the Decker House:
Little Timmy is continuing to grow and learn. He has recovered from his little bug and is back in action. This week he has started drinking from a normal adult cup with no lid. We're still nervous about this, so we only let him practice at the table with a bib, but he does a fairly good job and avoiding spills.
Tim has asked me to share the final results of his "Quest for the Perfect Pancake." So, we have located Krusteaz pancake mix, both plain and blueberry flavored (thanks Mom and Dad Barkley!). A summary of Tim's attempts:
Atempt 1: Plain Krusteaz pancakes- fluffy, but disappointed with the level of browning
Attempt 2: Krusteaz pancakes cooked in butter- much better, but not on par with Stormont Vail
Attempt 3: Ricotta pancakes from scratch- YUCK! no fluffiness
Attempt 4: blueberry Krusteaz, baked by Kim due to Tim's illness- good, but blueberries not fresh enough
Attempt 5: Bisquick pancakes cooked in butter- good, less favor than Krusteaz
So, after the past 5 weeks' worth of attempts, Tim has come to an epiphany: IT'S THE SYRUP! He had me re-appropriate several syrup packs from the dining hall in our latest visit to Stormont Vail. This morning he tried one of the syrup packs and made the determination that the crux of the perfect pancake lies in the syrup, not the batter. So, if you ever run across Heinz pancake syrup in the grocery store, know that you have discovered the Holy Grail of pancakes. And, for the record, the best combination possible is plain Krusteaz pancakes, prepared on the griddle with butter, and topped with Heinz syrup. Quest Complete.
8 comments:
First of all, I'm so glad there has been advancement on the pancake front. Seems like you both have done a good amount of research and testing. Second of all, I think Emma Grace is a beautiful name. You both are brave and caring, and I admire your strength throughout the past months. Still thinking and praying for all the Deckers. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers as well...
I am so glad you named Emma... I think that was really important- I know it must have been hard considering the circumstances. We love you guys and love the name you chose.
You are such wonderful friends- the generous gift you just sent us in the mail... our cherished vacation/visits we've shared- What great memories we have. Please know Ryan has a new photo he is planning to mail in the very near future... ;)
Aside from that- THE SYRUP you say?!? I'm just not sure this could possibly have been the case... Skeptical, but planning on trying your "recipe".
xox
Well...having been through the pancake quest myself years ago...I perhaps have to agree that it is more about the syrup. I prefer a "light" syrup not because of trying to count calories, but because anything "light" ususally tastes better due to the omission of a lot of sugar. The less sugar...the more flavor! Butter is always a plus! And sometimes I even prefer just butter and jam on my pancakes, but NOT fruit flavored syrup. Or sometimes.... I'll remember my days visiting France and getting their crepes, by only putting butter and granulated sugar on my warm pancakes. Now that makes a good snack!
Dear Kim and Tim,
You chose a beautiful name for your precious daughter.
Though I do not know the pain you are going through, I know what my situation with Gavin and Colin was like for me. I take comfort in the fact that, for the all too brief time I was blest to have them, they knew nothing but unconditional love. I am certain that Emma Grace knows the same.
Words seem so inadequate... but please know that Jason and I continue to pray for you. We are here if and whenever you want to talk.
Love,
Karen M
little Emma, your mom and dad are the best :) The best syrup is pure maple syrup....preferably a darker grade. Using seltzer/soda water will also make the pancakes a little fluffier.....wish we could camp and cook this summer. Our thoughts are with you always.
love ginny
and crisco, that's the best for those brown edges....
I am also so glad you named your little one. There is really no way you won't be attached to this little life that is growing inside of you.
I can not imagine the grief and pain you must be going through. Thinking of you often and praying.
Heather
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